The Wait

Jahan tak gayi meri nazar,
Har jagah maine tujhe hi paaya,

Kambhakt mera pyaar itna gehra jane kab ho gaya ?

ki sheeshe mein bhi apni jagah tujhe hi paaya !!

-By me.

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If you call "Love" as Madness..yes it can turn you mad,
if they say "Mohabbat bhi ek Nasha Hai",Its very true for when you're in Love you get a kind of pleasure which cannot be explained,in just sight of the one you Love.

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I was driving my Bike rashly,as I could hear my ringtone and with it came a reminder "Nitesh,you're late again"...

I was going to meet my special one...the one who just walked into my life..dont know frm where...but yea,the one who changed my life...

We had been in a relationship from past one month,and I was in "LOVE" with Her...!!

She,was a cute girl always smiling and always did things that would make others smile too...and yeah,she was Unperfect..

and whenever she asked me romantically "Nitesh,why do you Love me ?"..

to which my answer used to be "Because,You're a dumb,clumsy unperfect girl and I wont get someone as dumb as you".
her reply always was "Haan Haan..hum sab samajh rahe hain Mr.Shilpkar".

and I used to say "Humne mana kab kiya hai Mrs.Shilpkar ?".

She used to Blush,everytime...and even on phone it always seemed like it...!!

 One month,and it never seemed like it..We loved each other and it never seemed like just one month to us...afterall we were a Happily married couple..!!

I used to be her Shadow,literally..I always used to know where she was...call me her GPS.

She used to tellme everything right from going out of her house to what she was doing,I always knew...

and I became restless if I didnt get her message for an hour !

  She was cute..we used to fight all day long...but our fights had a definite end...the night talk was always a blessing and a way to get back to our senses...all blushing Mrs.shilpkar.

I by now,had reached to meet her..around 4pm...but due to clouds the atmosphere was quite pleasant..!

 Like always she said "aagye aap ? Hamesha ki tarah late".

I smiled and said "ji,hum aagye".

 but,she didn't get angry..afterall we were meeting after TWO DAYS...!!

and she had to get back home aswell....[How long can extra classes be ?]

We sat at one of our favourite places..watching the sunset holding each others hands...and just building a future together in words..teasing...smiling...

she then asked me "Nitesh,what if I go somewhere widout telling you,what will u do ?".

I replied,making a sad face "I'll die"

then added "aise dialogue main nahi bolta,hindi movie dekhlena koi tum ye sunna ho to...main to aish kaatunga".

she replied "Nitesh,Kamine ho tum !"

I said "Hamesha se.." *Grins*

But,she was filled with tears...and even though I asked her...what happened she didnt tell me...!

She just said "I love you nitesh".

and I smiled and said "Tum pagal ho !!".

..It was getting late...I dropped her near her place..and then I came back home...!"LIFE IS ALWAYS JEALOUS OF YOU WHEN YOU BECOME TO HAPPY IN LIFE".


Things,were all normal and loving between us...we were madly in Love..

We did cry together aswell..thinking of why do we fight together so much ?".

silly isnt it ?

these are signs of you being MAD !!

It was late at Night...and I still had not got a text from her "call me"...for we used to talk only after everyone at her place had slept...!

I then got a text saying...

"Nitesh,you're a wonderful guy and I've had a wonderful time with you,
But,I dont think it is Love...just attraction may be..Good bye !".

I didnt call her in anger..and decided not to do so..till she herself calls me when she gets back to her senses...

Generally,it happened for 1 day at most...

and now,it was more than 15 days...!!

I texted her.."hey,how are you ?".

I got a reply "Don't message me ever,I've moved on,my New boyfriend really keeps me happy and I'm very Happy with him"...

Each word of that text had just been tattoed to my mind...!!

I was spellbound...and didn't know what to do....

[After a Month]

I met one of her very good friends..

I asked her,of how she was...she said "Nitesh,she loves you..but there are things I can't tell you".

I was shocked...and asked her "what about her new boyfrnd ?".

She said "Do you think anyone can handle your Miss.Unperfect ?".

I was still in a state of shock....!

I took out her number..and dialled it..

and I could hear a sweet voice tell me "The Number you've dialed is swithced off".

Her cell was the only way I could contact her....!!

[Presently]

I still don't know where is she...

if she still loves me or not...

I still can't answer the questions "Why didn't she contact me if she loves me ?".

and why do I still try to peep inside every Innova and Maruti suzuki ??
..thinking she might be inside in any of them [She had these two cars].

The answers and Questions are endless....

But,here I am....

just wid a line of my own..

LOVE GOES ON...IT'S THE OTHERS THAT MOVE ON.....!!!

Miss.Imperfect

“Wo Bewafa Nahi,Uski bhi Koi Majboori Rahi Hogi”.

These were the lines that got into my ears as I was switching over channels to watch something on the Television.

I mocked this line,inside me….thinking “The best excuse in life to give to oneself,to keep oneself happy”.

*FLASHBACK*

 [During the years,I had changed into an Introvert ]

I was at a Friend’s birthday party and was standing alone and looking at everyone enjoying it…as I was sipping the coke in my hand…

A Girl came inside…she looked beautiful to my eyes and caught my attention..

She met my Friend,and wished her “Happy birthday”..hugging her when her eyes met mine.

She looked to me like a Girl full of “Craziness”,and Yes…I was right again like always….

She danced like crazy,made fun and enjoyed a lot during the party as I was sipping up the next glass full of coke..

Her eyes had met mine several times during that half an hour….

When,I saw her coming towards me.

She in a firm tone asked me “Do You have some problem ?”

I hesitantly replied her,without much control over my emotions “Yes,I don’t know if you’re beautiful,but I still can’t get my eyes off you”.

I looked at her all blank,not thinking what I had said,for that would have made me even more blank.

She smiled and said “Nice Line”,and went away.

Still,I don’t know what it was,but our eyes kept meeting during the whole party.

[party ended]

After,a few days my friend uploaded all her birthday pics and tagged all her friends on Facebook.

I said to myself “Thanks,Mark If you were not there,I would have never been able to find that girl again”.

Without wasting much time…I sent her a message “My eyes still looking for someone I know not if she’s beautiful or not !!”.

Her name was “Shikha”.

After two hours,when I returned back at my desk..I had a message from her which said “but,your eyes never found a second way to meet my eyes than being direct !!”.

This was the first message of our long message talks through facebook.

In the meanwhile,we got added in each others “Friends” and started missing one another when a reply was followed by a long wait.

But still,she was a CRAZY girl for me.

We exchanged numbers and we started talking.

Until it was my birthday..and I returned home enjoying my day with all my friends to check out her messages,as Shikha was in Delhi.

I had her message,before opening it I had a smile on my face.

The message was full with birthday wishes and how she wanted my future to be good..apart from a line written in between “I got a New Boyfriend and I am very happy”.

All of a sudden,the expressions on my face changed and I was dead blank..and Couldn’t think of anything.

And replied “Wow ! You got a boyfriend I am very happy for You”

We didn’t contact for the next two days.

I got a message “I am back in Lucknow now”.

I called her up and without thinking anything I proposed her up.

We were just so made for each other..she often made me blank..and it was my turn now.

She was all blank and didn’t say anything and kept the phone.

Two days later,at night around 2am my phone said “shikha calling”.

I attended her call and she was in a Complain Mode “Do you even know How much I miss You ? Do You know anything Idiot ?” blah ! blah !

I responded “How and why should I know ? U have a Boyfriend !”.

She said “Yes,I had two days back and I broke up with him for You”.

I curiously asked “why ?”.

She was all in tears and said “Coz I Love you too !!”.

There was something about her tears that whenever they fell,they came out from my eyes too.

It felt the best night..for we talked for around an hour crying and just saying I LOVE YOU”.

We seemed like the most crazy couple.

We fought,didn’t talk for days and then we talked we cried and ended up loving each other.

Everything had “we”.

Time few rapidly.

Once,we went out..she was sitting on my Bike…when for saving an “Uncle”..I applied my brakes hard enough to slip on the slippery road…and she fell off from my bike….and so did I.

I had minor cuts on my hands…which she never gotta know about..

She smiled and stood up..and her knee was bleeding…but she didn’t tell me..until I found it myself…

I stopped my bike,got my handkerchief round it and stopped her flow of blood.

She was still smiling and acting crazy,actually we were the Crazy couple.

 We then went to a public place and sat close to each other…and after some moments…we forgot that we were in a public place..and we were just lost in each other…looking and she was in my arms…!

She ended up being all senti..but,She loved my PJ’s !

Time Passed.

Until,One day at around 2 am.she told me “She doesn’t know what’s going on between us may be it was just “attraction”..for she stil feels for her “ex”.

At,that point I realized a different feeling inside me..a Feeling that I was well aware off in the past..but Felt it after a long time..the feeling of Pain inside me.

I had decided to stay away from her since then.

It was like a full-stop for our relationship.

The Love had changed to attraction.

She would never realize what was going on with me and she behaved crazily still.

Laughing everything off and calling me to just say “Move on”.

I had always loved onething of her that she was just so “Imperfect”.

A Girl that was very childish,clumsy and crazy…!!!

*PRESENT*

I had always been a Tough Guy..I never walk back on the roads which I leave once.

Shikha,had gone for me…and I always wanted her back..but never made her realize that !

I SMILE,I LAUGH BUT SOME PAINS ALWAYS MAKES YOU “VULNERABLE”.