Decisions

People say that as you grow old you tend to know what’s good for you and what’s wrong.

Does that really happen that way?

There are times when you tend to stop yourself from the various emotions or feelings you really want to be in or you really want to feel…but you stop yourself.

Why?

Because you’re heart says something else and you’re mind says something else and you’re in middle of both the most important parts that guide people on their way to this big journey called life.

We never want to be place in between them no matter what happens..But we somewhere or the other always do come between the mind and heart and it’s you who has to empower either the mind or the heart’s decision.

A hard decision may be..But that has to happen.

Sometimes the decisions of having a person in you’re life or making them leave you rests upon you.

Depending on various facts..Do you want to be with them? Do you really love them?

But the thing is you never really know what “LOVE” stands for until it’s not either over or the person you really love is not there anymore with you.

Love is a word that has been wrongly interpreted in many ways. Everything has a different thing that you’ve heard off and until you really experience it.

You often take some wrong decisions or the decisions that were right for that point of time.

[FLASHBACK]

Time was passing and I had not allowed anyone to get close to me emotionally.

I had made a nice friend Akriti and I was always happy talking to her…chats or sms.

We talked about different things ranging from nothing to everything.

Akriti was in love with a person elder to her by at least 10 years. He once tried being intimate with her and she refused. The guy’s behavior towards her changed. But she kept on loving her. The Guy is from other religion. He’s a Muslim and that is what all she was worried about of how she’ would get acceptance at her home.

I always like a good friend listened to her and talked to her and supported her with everything. We were more of happy people since we started talking.

I had started visiting communities on Orkut now and joined a game in one of the leading Orkut communities.

It was a nice game a mix of splitsvilla and swyamvar types.

It was fun playing that game and completing various tasks.

I had seen some of the weirdest moments then.

I never had ever flirted…yes a thing never in my habit..But in communities like these guys flirt with every girl they see.

Gosh, I didn’t like that.. Until I developed a taste for it and became an expert 

But I always did it with people I knew and talked most of the time. It was fun.

I met this girl called Sonakshi. She almost knew everyone there and was pretty famous. I found that out later that she was the moderator of the community and that’s the reason everyone knew her. She was a fun loving girl and always had this special form of talking to people that I did like.

We became friends and as I got to know her I developed a kind of liking for her specially the way she used to talk like a typical respectful girl using words like “aap” and “ji”.

These are small things and I love these stuffs.

I never knew what’s between us but we did like talking to each other quite a lot.

The phone conversations started and I knew everyone right from her little nephew to her big brother. She used to share everything with me. She was damn caring. I mean she used to care for everything and everyone. She may not have the best of voices but yes her accept of speaking borrowed from her Marathi mother tongue and Hindi mix appeared very cute and I loved hearing her.

I was happy and so was she. She belonged to Pune, a place in Maharashtra I had been years ago for my national swimming competition.

Everything was good.

Just when everything starts to be good bad things follow up.

Colleges kept me busy and our timings clashed most of the times…and the night talks mostly began ending due to the tiring day and the other day to come.

Difference built between us as I found out that she has been talking to some other guy meanwhile.

I wasn’t angry on the fact that she was seeing another guy, her life she could do anything.

But being close friends she should at least have told me about it like everything else she used to tell me….or rather as I thought she told me.

Like everything else.

We stopped calling. Stopped messaging .Finally Stopped talking.

I had taken the decision of not talking up and she had accepted it.

She sometimes though used to call me up saying “Miss you”.

And I sometimes used to call her up just for the sake of talking to her small nephew.

I wasn’t much sad or something…it was just what happens when someone gets close to you and breaks you’re trust and then the things that follow. I had got close to a girl after a long time and this is what girls do to you, make you  a little tough and you start trusting people less.

I and Akriti talked and that kept me happy until the time I used to log into Orkut again and give air to the memories.

It’s not people who haunt you it’s just their memories that haunt you..Or make you sad or happy.

I have seen a lot in life recently so I could take this loss of a close friend very easily.

And moreover, Akriti had started crying a lot more these days and I could not see her cry. I used to console her and told every possible joke to her just to make her smile. She was one of the Good friends that had happened to me all this time and I didn’t want to lose her.

[PRESENTLY]

Sonakshi calling

Sonakshi: “Hey Nitesh”

I: Hey? How are you?

Sonakshi: I am fine. Mujhe kya hoga ? wo mera kaafi khayal rakhte hain.

[Sonakshi has entered into a relationship by now]

I: Nice.

[I hung up after talking to her for about 10 minutes. I never want to recall memories back]