Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Unanswered Tears



A cold morning ,it was I was sitting wid Simran on a bench,in a Park holding each others hands with fingers crossed cozily,as the people looked us as they passed by while jogging.
 She was as smiling as always,that nothing had happened just because she never wanted to see that frown on my face which comes up when I am tensed..and whatever had happened last night had already made me tensed,but she was all smiling as if nothing had happened to her.
But, she had held my hand very firmly that day as if she never wanted to leave it.
I asked her “What happened ?”.
She said “nothing” and smiled again as she came more closer to sit near me she made sounds and it was clear to me that she was in pain.
I then checked out  her swollen foot , and when I got angry…then she told me she has a backache and some bruises aswell.
I hated her so much for not telling me…and I frowned at her..looking in her eyes…as she held my hands tightly and started to blush calling me “Mr.Shilpkar”.

I had an interview that day..and I told her I’ve to leave.
She looked at me and said with her wet eyes…”Nitesh,I want to stay with you..please take me home”.
I smiled and said “I will,let the time come”.
I started leaving her…when She said “Nitesh,It’s the last time we are meeting or talking”.
I was spell bound,but smiled and said “you’re mad”..and I left.
I went for the Interview,thinking of all the things that happened that morning..and that kept me smiling the whole day.

After,the interview I came back home…at around 2am.
I called her up…thought I knew it’s late and she must have slept by now…still I called her up….to see how she was doing…
She didn’t pick up !
I smiled and said to myself…she must have slept..all tired…
I went to bed too.
I and Simi,were sitting on the camel for a camel ride…its all crazy things we do together…
I was holding her so that she doesn’t fall…as she’s always prone to falling every now and then.
The air was blowing in a naughty way enough to get her hair on my face…
And everytime she saw her hair coming on my face..she whispered smiling “Sorry !”.
I smiled and said “I’m lovin it Simi !! “.
We had met after a long time..after we had said “We wont see each other again”….it was the decided LAST MEET for us.
The LAST MEET,had something about it..that we didn’t want it to be that way.
I needed one LAST HUG from her and so did She.
I was standing in the middle of the place we went to…where I opened my arms and asked her to give me a Hug.
She came up…stood up on my feet saying a “sorry !” again…and hugged me tightly…getting all emotional.
I cheered her up…and the LAST HUG didn’t stay the last hug…we decided to stay together…and the plans never ended for us…but it always gets time to GO HOME !
A moment we hate …but that’s how it has to be..apart from our future plans.
It was the next day,she got Hurt  as she got home and I went to see her at that park.

The dream of the past days had ended…
I woke up for a new morning….as happy as ever..filled with her memories…..and felt as if she’s wid me.
I sent her a Good morning message.[ she always did it,but never mind]
I was used to get her late Good morning messages.
She called up..after the good mornings had been done !!
I asked her did she sleep last night ?
She said “No ! I didn’t . I saw ur calls..but I didn’t feel like picking it up and then around 2:30 am…I was talking to Aman later…so didn’t call u up”.
Her statement already had got my short-tempered brain heated..but I controlled myself…and said “OKAY”.
We had a fight again…not for talking to AMAN..but for not remembering things,I told her to do..for the first time.
Yeah,a fight.
And “We wont talk and we’ll not see each other was back again”.

Me and My anger are extremists as she says.
And I feel it now..for I deleted her number.
And when the Urge of talking to her rised up in me…I kept calling the CUSTOMER CARE for my Call details.
Which ofcourse being a Prepaid number…was not heard upon by them.
I didn’t have her contact number..and she didn’t call me.

I am sometimes left wid questions…I can’t answer myself.
“Does she miss me ?”.
“Has she moved on ?”.
“Does she LOVE me even.if yes.y doesn’t she call me ?”.

Even my tears,never find an answer to my questions..all I get is sleepless nights and when I sleep they are filled  wid memories of the past days..!


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